


Four Roses, Neat (The On The Rocks Remix)

by DeyaAmaya



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Abduction, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Butcher Neil Josten, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-24 16:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21102341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeyaAmaya/pseuds/DeyaAmaya
Summary: Andrew's a reporter who just hit on the story of his life. Neil is the story. Neil is also in mortal peril.





	Four Roses, Neat (The On The Rocks Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fuzzballsheltiepants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzballsheltiepants/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Four Roses, Neat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17753366) by [fuzzballsheltiepants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzballsheltiepants/pseuds/fuzzballsheltiepants). 

> Many thanks to @leahlisabeth for editing the mess that was my work, and thanks to @IKnowWhoYouAre_Damianos and @paleromatic for all the support

Losing Andrew is surprisingly easy. 

Years old instinct kicks in and Neil blends into the crowd, twisting and turning until he is sure the other man wouldn’t find him. Within an hour he is well on his way out of the city. With each step, Neil tries to avoid thinking of anything related to Andrew. His face, his voice, his scent, his-

_ Stop it. _

Neil meets up with Derek just like they had planned. The dusty, nondescript toyota waiting at the curb reminds Neil of all the cars Mary Hatford used to hotwire. The boy has sense, Neil would give him that, even if he's a little too nosy about Neil's private life.

Derek takes one look at Neil and rolls his eyes. 'You told him?'

Neil doesn’t bother answering and for once Derek doesn’t push. He offers to drive while Neil curls up on the passenger seat. Without the distraction of driving and navigation, his mind runs in the wrong direction. 

Coming back to the USA was a bad idea, he thinks. Adopting a reporter persona was another mistake, as convenient as it was. Agreeing to let the Hatfords have Columbia was something he was still dubious about. But Andrew…

Neil doesn’t know if getting involved with Andrew was a mistake or the greatest thing in his life. 

Maybe both.

He was always going to leave. But what he just did… leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. 

He thinks of the nights spent with Andrew, working late, smoking in the small fire escape right outside the tiny office he shared with Andrew, sharing lighters, sharing truths (and lies). 

When did Neil first let himself slip? Let himself fall? 

Was it that night in April when the sky had swelled with clouds for days without a single drop of rain? The extreme humidity made Andrew sprawl on the floor of Neil's living room, refusing to go home, claiming Neil's AC was better.

(He was clearly joking, he had gone home. Though later than usual. Much, much later.)

Or was it the day Neil had first seen him laugh? They were having a late lunch and Neil had bungled up yet another pop culture reference. Instead of the usual deadpan eyes and dry retort, Andrew had burst into boisterous laughter. 

Neil can still hear it ringing in his ears whenever he remembers that day. 

Could it have been the night when Neil watched Andrew and caught Andrew watching him back? The strobe lights in the suffocating club had turned Andrew into a hallucination and it had been hard to stop himself at just one drink that night.

His fall was finally complete last night. His insides were coiled up and ready to deal a lethal blow to the absolute heathen hitting on Andrew. Neil couldn’t help himself. 

_ 'If he’s going home with anyone tonight, it’s going to be me.' _

(Liar.)

In a few hours he will be on his way to Europe. Safety, anonymity and enough cash to get by, that was his deal with Stuart. They'd known that the presence of a copycat Butcher would lure out the remaining Moriyama. 

For a second he is overcome with the residual horror of killing people. 

They were drug dealers; they had it coming. It was necessary to crush the Moriyama stronghold. It was important to tell Andrew. It had to be done.

(Neil has told himself so many lies.)

Tonight the Hatfords will ambush the Moriyama somewhere in Columbia, the operation kept so secret even Neil doesn’t know the details. He wants nothing to do with it. 

Derek turns down the radio and hands a thermos to Neil, warm and fragrant tea sloshing in it cheerfully. Out of all the things that Derek learned from Neil, the tea-making was best. It's really not that bad having a henchman for a while. Of course, Neil will be leaving him at the airport and he’ll go back to London to do whatever it is a Hatford Lackey does. Neil's mind circles back to Andrew. What's he going to title the article? It'll be the biggest story of his career. Is he happy?

  


*

(Andrew pulled out his wallet and threw down a few bills. Neil never looked away from him, allowing his face to pull into a smile. They ended up outside of the club, in the dingy little alley, his hands in Andrew’s. Neil let himself be pulled towards Andrew, basking in his heat, his scent, breathless with want.

_ This is it, _ he thought. _ This is what you had, what you’re giving up. _

'Yes or no?' Andrew almost growled the question out as he backed Neil against the brick of the club wall, still not touching Neil. _ Why isn’t he touching me? _

'Yes.' Neil breathed. 

Andrew's lips fitted against his like a dream, like an old forgotten fantasy. Neil kissed back. Finally, finally. His blood sang with euphoria. It was so easy, too easy, to lose himself in this. 

A distant part of his brain, the one that had learned the too-hard lessons, practically screamed at him to stop, to back away; it was too late, too late.

_ This is my confession. Forgive me. I've said too much. _

_ I haven’t said enough. _

*

'Call Stuart and let him know I'm on the way,' Neil instructs Derek absently, feeling the toll of the last few days catch up to him. 

'Already did,' Derek answers. 

_ When? _ He can barely keep his eyes open.

'Wake me up when we reach the airport,' he mumbles. Already halfway asleep, he thinks he hears Derek's soft answer.

'Sure, Nathaniel.'

*

Being trapped in a nightmare isn’t new for Neil. But watching himself butcher people like they are pigs, that is new.

He watches himself from afar, calmly disposing of drug dealers, tipping Andrew off about the new butcher, then going straight back to work next to Andrew and trash talking their incompetent coworkers. 

Only a monster can do all that and still be able to laugh, love and live.

_ You're a monster, Nathaniel. _

* 

Neil knows something is very wrong the moment he wakes up. His eyelids are heavy as lead and he is tied up securely. His mind feels sluggish, thoughts swimming through a mass of thick confusion. He's let down his guard, gotten himself captured. _ Mommy will be very angry. _ His stomach clenches with unease. _ Where is Mommy? _

It takes an embarrassingly long time to figure out he's tied up with zip ties, not rope. Masking tape over his mouth, really? He can hardly breathe. Before he can even start looking for a nail to use, a door opens somewhere nearby. 

Neil squints at the figure looming over him. 

_ Derek. _

Neil knows him but the details are hard to remember. 

'Hey, Nathaniel,' he says before ripping off the tape. Neil doesn’t even feel the sting. Idiot's overdosed him with something.

Derek is saying something. Through the tinnitus, Neil's ears pick up something about Moriyama, Hatford, revenge and Lola Malcolm. He blinks a few times. Derek Brody's mousy brown hair comes into focus.

_ Sometimes you can’t escape your past. _

'You really don't look like her at all,' he slurs.

Derek's face twists in rage. 'Doesn’t matter. You and your bitch mother killed her and I will make you pay. Besides,' he tries to look smug, 'if I did look like her you wouldn’t have trusted me.'

So the nice little henchman is really a spy. No question on who he's working for. Moriyama, who else? For all his spiel about revenge, he must've been paid by those pasty Japanese assholes. 

Derek tightens his fingers in Neil's hair but, before he can continue his assault, some other lackey comes into the room to replace him. 

Derek grumbles but leaves obediently. He’s definitely being paid by Moriyama.

The new one is a tall man with steel-gray eyes. Something about him reminds Neil of himself, of _ Nathaniel _, and he involuntarily tenses when he comes closer. When he opens his mouth, Neil braces for impact. 

_ 'You are such a disgrace,' the _ man says in french. _ 'I cannot believe you’re the Wesninski heir.' _

_ 'I'm a Wesninski nothing,' _Neil corrects him, grinning. His answer earns a scowl from the man. He's dressed in a sharp suit, unlike Derek or Neil. Perhaps he’s a high-ranking Moriyama.

'We're at Brody's childhood home,' the man says. 'He brought you here and is contacting Lord Moriyama. I tried to delay them, but you've slept too long.' His scowl deepens. 'You need to leave before the lord gets here. I can't keep you alive by myself.'

'Who the fuck are you, anyway?'

The man places his palms on the armrests of Neil's chair and leans in. 'I'm Jean Moreau, and I'm your only hope of getting out of here.'

*

Only after locking himself in the dingy bathroom of Derek's apartment does Neil let himself think. 

Neil's flight has left without him, hours, maybe a whole day ago. He imagines Andrew, bent over his desk, furiously putting the finishing touches on his breakthrough story. His ashtray is overflowing, his hair mussed, eyes tired. Neil can almost smell him: smoke, leftover whiskey and something just uniquely _ Andrew _. 

Is Andrew writing about Neil Abram Josten? Or is he writing about Nathaniel Wesninski? Maybe he's foregone names and just typed 'The new Butcher of Baltimore'. Uncle Stuart is probably negotiating/trying to intercept Ichirou Moriyama for Neil's safety .

The thought makes Neil throw up harder in the. Neil's glad the drug is out of his system. Well, mostly. 

Jean manages to get rid of Derek when he comes back from a phone call with Ichirou. Neil searches him and finds one of his own knives. He pockets it, carefully not touching the cooling flesh. 

Neil's head is clearer; the problem is his aching body. He's only now realising he's been beaten. A broken or fractured rib makes breathing a chore. His wrists aren’t faring much better.

The possibility of getting out of this debacle is getting slimmer with every minute, Neil is forced to conclude.

Jean's forehead creases in worry. 'The building is starting to fill up with Moriyama thugs,' he tells Neil. 'We'll have to fight our way out.'

Neil has survived worse in the past, even when bleeding from bullet wounds. He'll be damned if he lets himself be taken down in this pathetic little apartment. _ This decrepit living room is nothing compared to Nathan's basement. _

(But his blood feels stagnant, he can see blue veins protruding unnaturally around his bruised wrists and he knows he wasn’t just drugged, he was poisoned. How long does he have before he's unable to run?)

Jean tenses as a ventilation panel on the ceiling starts to rattle subtly. He keeps his gun trained on it, shielding Neil with his considerable height.

_ It’s possible there's a whole group of Moriyamas up there _, Neil thinks, missing his gun. 

The panel drops with a clatter, a muffled _ fuck _ and Jean prepares to shoot-

Only to completely drop his stance the next second. There’s a blue whirlwind reaching for him and his gun clanks on the floor.

'You!' Jean is bewildered. 'How did you-'

‘I knew you were getting yourself into unnecessary trouble,’ the newcomer huffs. He’s so bright and boisterous it hurts Neil’s senses. He tries to remember if he’s a Moriyama man, a Hatford man or maybe a Wesninski man? His thoughts don’t go far though, because-

_ It can’t be. _

Someone else followed through the vent, someone who’s eyeing Neil with so much rage and despair his blood runs cold. Neil shakes as he rushes to his feet. The universe stands still as he all but throws himself at

_ Andrew _.

*

From what the newcomer (_ Jeremy’s a policeman, _ Jean said, his voice oddly gentle) says, suspicious people are pouring into the building through the front and back entrances, but there are still some ways to sneak out. They could try crawling through the vents again, but one look at Neil makes Jeremy dismiss that avenue. 

‘The roof,’ he says. ‘We can climb down to one of the neighbouring buildings and escape from there.’ He instantly gets busy corresponding with his co-workers using a bulky walkie-talkie. 

Gunshots are starting to pierce through the eerie silence of night, interspersed with screams and heavy grunts of pain, muffled thuds of bodies falling, one, two... 

Jean ushers them out into a fire escape. It’s apparently in a blind spot that isn’t visible from inside this building or the ones next to it. A freezing rain falls, offering them even more cover into the pitch darkness of midnight. 

Neil soon loses sight of Jean and his companion as he follows Andrew in tense silence, stumbling in the darkness. When he stops to rest after climbing a few stories, Neil crashes headfirst into him, like he's been crashing into Andrew from the beginning.

Neil's eyes follow the raindrops rippling down Andrew’s tired face, his hands trembling badly as he tries to hold the beloved face in his palms. It's like holding fire to his skin. 

_ How did you know where to find me _ ? _ Why have you come for me _ ? _ Don't you know I'm a monster _ ? _ Why haven’t you left me yet _?

Andrew's eyes and lips are hungry as he crowds Neil against the rusty rails of the fire escape. Neil lets himself be devoured without any complaints, surrenders to Andrew's mercy and lets him conquer. His mouth is a furnace of anger and Neil melts.

In a daze, Neil doesn't even notice that his mouth is running. His heart is shattering and he can't prevent the shards from scattering everywhere.

Andrew's thumb is rough on Neil's bottom lip. 'Shut up,' he growls. Neil pauses, incredulous and out of breath.

'You don't even know what I'm saying.'

'I don’t need to know fucking mandarin to guess that you're-' his voice cuts off and leaves behind a shudder of warm breath against Neil's bitten lips. 

Neil wants him to go on, finish the thought. Wants to hear from his mouth, his lips, and his voice what Neil's been saying-

loveyouneedyoulovedyouforsolongwantedyoulongerwantyounownownoworI'lldie

And he tells Neil.

He tells Neil with a hammering heart as his kisses turn softer. He tells Neil with desperate fingers as they run through ragged curls, tugging Neil's head back. He tells Neil with his teeth and lips and tongue as they suck poetry of pleasure-pain right next to Neil's thundering pulse.

There is a whole war downstairs, blood and rain running free, gunshots and knife slices in abundance, but he holds Neil like he's the beginning and the end of his world. 

He says, _mine_, he says, _stay_, he says, _I've got you,_ _I'm so angry that you ran. I hate you, hate you, hate you. _

(Too bad Neil knows what he really means.)

Andrew's kisses turn from a summer thunderstorm to april shower to a soft sunlight, stopping with the promise of more. The sounds of the fight are louder now, closer. Jean hisses at them to hurry up from a couple flights above.

'I'll slow you down,' Neil whispers in Andrew's ear. 'Why can't you see that? I can't have your death on my conscience-'

'And I can't have your death on mine,' Andrew tells him, furious. He seems to catch himself, takes a deep breath and places a barely there kiss on Neil's temple.

'We'll get out of here, together,' he promises.

With the sound and smell of death so close, poison running in his veins and the warmth of life in his embrace, Neil can't help asking, 'What if we can't get away? What if they catch us?'

'Then we fight, together, and if it’s still not enough, we go out together.' Andrew’s voice wavers at the end.

'Together,' Neil echoes. 

Andrew is still and solid and kisses one last promise on Neil's lips. 'I'm exactly where I want to be.'

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to keep the ending ambiguous like the original fic, not sure if I managed!


End file.
